im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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