i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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