it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
