I'm going to jail i love you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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