we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
