It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
