I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
