Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How's work?
Spinning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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