just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
