shes about as inviting as chlamydia
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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