worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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