I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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