and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
