I wish I could teleport
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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