We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
