his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
