we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
