butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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