Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
