Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
