let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
