I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When are your genitals available?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
