Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
