sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
