Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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