I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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