There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
