Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
