I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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