idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize