I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
