I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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