it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize