I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
