It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Two words: nipple clamps
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