Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
