never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
