This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
