my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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