first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
