Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
