Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize