Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
