The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
