My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Congratulations! We have a period
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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