If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
