I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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