we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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