so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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