so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
