I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
