Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
