Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
