I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
