I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
