lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
