i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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