He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
