is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
