But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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