are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
