I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
