he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
