It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
