Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
