with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
