I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
