she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
