So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
