he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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